11 Major Deceptions You Must Guard Against…
On a fateful morning, a motorist, on his way to work, from a distance, apparently observed a water-logged express-way that is a free “pathway’ to his workplace. Unfortunately, he took to what he observed and figured out a means to get to work. Though he was successful, he was at the mercy of his boss who came to work hours earlier. However, if he had moved a little closer to the apparently observed water-logged express-way, obviously he would have noticed that it was a mirage ( a blindfold or deceptive observation) and taken the express-way as route to his workplace even earlier than his Boss!
There are certain statements we hear either from the mass media, people or other sources that have undoubtedly eaten deep from the root of our growing years of childhood and youth to the stable period of adulthood. In other words, the statements are saliently understood words of deception which have affected our thoughts and dealings with people, analogous to the motorist who took to the apparently observed water-logged express-way.
The saliently understood words of deception have unequivocally truncated anticipated longevity of relationships existing between and or amongst individuals and married couples. No doubt, there are fact-based records of demise in relationships amongst individuals (celebrities inclusive), broken homes, estranged and divorced cases amongst married couples.
At this juncture, the need to ‘guard’ ourselves from deceptions is at this point necessary. “What are the deceptions?” A question you may want to ask.
The self-help material, ‘11 Major Deceptions You Must Guard Yourself Against …’ is primarily a relationship-based material that cut across relationship recognition, marriage and seriousness – defined relationships (amongst individuals). It is a must-have and must-read work-piece which will be helpful to those seeking for serious relationships and marriage.
It gives a “let-us-face-it” approach to analyze the power of certain blindfolds known as deceptions in terms of their true recognition, consequences and proffers long lasting solutions to preclude oneself from their servitude. With insight-based examples, stories and other interests, the work-piece sheds light on each of the mentioned deception.
It unravels the can of worms associated with various marriages and relationships people involve themselves in. From the fruiting years of childhood to the growing years of youth and finally, to the stable years of adulthood, the material deals with blindfolds associated with people of these ages. Infidelity, divorce, pre-marital and post-marital sex and other vices are general blindfolds that the work-piece believes originates from the media, schools and the general society.
Deceptions 1to 11 discuss the blindfolds virginity loss affect the lives of youngsters, influences the persona of the male and female folks in terms of getting married, the adverse effects of engaging in multiple sexual relations, the ills of chauvinism of men and resulting subjugation of women in marriage, the wrong prioritization of money as criterion for marriage, the wrong notions of men and women about each other, the “love is blind” and “divorce is normal” veils, the issue as to whether married men and or women keep a company of singles, the belief of men going on sexual adventure with women and the conviction that things can get better when married.
11 Major Deceptions You Must Guard Yourself Against… saliently gives the way-outs of the blindfolds in the time and age the world is living in. This is intended to enable individuals who are in serious relationships with their spouses and “normally” married for people around the world, irrespective of race, status or background, a beneficial and enduring union with their spouses.
Tables of Contents
Deception 1: It is no big deal losing your virginity
Deception 2: It is good to feel the ‘sweetness’ of sex by engaging other partners into it.
Deception 3: The ‘bad’ girls end up getting or marrying the ‘good’ guys (vice versa)
Deception 4: As men, we ought to give into sex advances from women, whether married or not.
Deception 5: When there is money, it will be safe to get married
Deception 6: He (or she) has a sexually not-good past, but will change, though is still in the habit of flirting
Deception 7: Love is blind
Deception 8: Divorce is normal
Deception 9: As a married man or woman I can still keep an intimate company of bachelor or spinster friends
Deception 10: Till the right man or woman comes will I become sexually faithful.
Deception 11: Things will change for the better only if I am married.
It is no big deal losing your virginity
In recent times, a youngster, losing the worth of sexual virginity, is no longer an anomaly as it used to be. In fact, there are various statements that encourage young people to “give up” their virginity. Expressions such as “You are not a woman, if you aren’t sexually active”, “You’re missing the peak of sexual enjoyment, if you don’t indulge in it”, “This is the age you experience the dynamics of manhood and womanhood”, “Make love!”, “You‘ll become a complete person” and so on are used to effect what has now become the acceptable modern value – promiscuity instead of chastity. However, if we view this issue from both sides of the coin, can it be said that promiscuity possesses an intricate (positive) value than chastity?
Consider a situation where a farmer, as part of his painstaking selfless service towards community development, was handsomely rewarded with two fertile lands which he has to choose from. The first land had been bush-fallowed, used for other not-good purposes (diabolism). However, its soil is fertile; very cultivation-friendly. On the other hand, the second land has never been fallowed, possesses a host of ever-green tall trees, productive medicinal crops and cash crops, never been defiled and obviously very fertile. If you were the farmer, which of the lands would you choose from?
Undoubtedly, Teenagers are the victims of this development as they take in hook, line and sinker the efficacies of the deceptive “It’s no big deal losing your virginity”. From the every late years of childhood to the stable years of adulthood, virginity loss has become a household name and is an embraced phenomenon. Why?
Generally, youths seem unperturbed; the ‘cancerous spread of virginity loss in the lives of every tom, dick and Harry. Unfortunately, young women are most times victims of this eventuality. Conversely, teenage men are not left out as virginity loss sets the pace for a likely insecurity and doubt (infidelity) in their subsequent dealings with their female counterparts
At this juncture, a striking statement would be made to enlighten people about virginity’s worth, irrespective of gender. But the term “virginity” has its light reflected on the woman, though it applies to the man. Hence, our attention would be focused on the female genders. Before the “striking” statement, a ray of light would have to be shed on the term ‘virginity’ ,cutting across the male and female gender: virginity is a mindset which can be translated as the ability of the individual to abstain or practically say “No” to lust-filled offers, no matter the nature of prevailing circumstance.
“The only physically sacred possession, worth, most cherished jewel a woman can really uphold is her virginity. Without it, she is (likely) to be treated like other women, irrespective of status and background. The consequences? Increased in-security and doubts as unveiled by infidelity continued fornication and adultery. The way out? A thorough and genuine spiritual overhaul”. This is the striking statement.
The Leonards Da Vinci’s Monalisa Portrait is the most insured material in the world; no man can buy it, even the world’s richest man! What is fascinating is that modern X-ray can reveal only its three visible versions. If a man-made material can be seen as the most expensive and insured, how much more the God-inputted virginity?
Founded in 1886, Coca-Cola arguably remains the most richest and successful bottling company in the world. Why? The peculiar (codified) concentration that tastes uniquely different in various places is obviously the reason for its greatness. Without this reason, Coca-Cola, like other bottling companies will undoubtedly not be as successful as it is. In the same but a more greater vein, a woman who is a virgin is one in a million of women, an analogous “field”, attracting well-meaning men to her because what is “codified” in her is undefiled, yet to be decrypted.
A Buddhist Priest is designated with the “ritualistic” responsibility of keeping the sacredness of the temple at specified times. Similarly, the God-given virginity is a sacred worth which ought to be kept until the time is discerned for consented ritual is figured out. In other words, marriage should be the specified time (time discerned) where the fullness of consented ritual (sexual intercourse) exercise can be appreciated. Unfortunately the sacred worth of many young people (especially women) has been lost before the “stipulated time”. In fact, the world has turned upside down, clamping down the accepted value of chastity and promoting promiscuity in various forms; media, schools, and people. Without an equivocation, there are consequences of “decrypting” the God-given ‘code’ before the ‘stipulated time’. What are they?
Reviewing the crux of the “striking” statement with respect to the asked “what are they? the following can be inferred.
- Increased in-security and doubt (as unveiled by infidelity)
- Continued fornication and adultery
Others include contracting diseases, vagueness in direction (life-set goals) poor sense of judgment, low self esteem e.t.c. These would be explained in Deception 2. Precisely, these point at the gravity or efficacy of encouraged promiscuity using the loosing-your-virginity approach as a starter.
On the other side of the coin, chastity poses its consequences whose price demands a painstaking commitment with proven-results of self control. The following showed the aftermaths of chastity.
- Chastity saves youngsters from the dangers of unwanted pregnancies (female ones)
- Chastity prevents young people from imminent dangers of contracting diseases that are deadly.
- It precludes juveniles from the servitude of increased in-security and doubt and in future, infidelity in terms of continued fornication and adultery.
- The worth of chastity affords youths the opportunity to be goal-focused; prospect-driven; success-oriented and counseled rightly.
- At this point, a question is directed to you: Sincerely which of these is a mirage? Options: (a) Chastity (b) Promiscuity.
If you are reading this and you are not a virgin, it is no crime. After all, as humans, we are mistake-bound. However, you can start now by vowing to become chaste, though it is a hard nut to crack task but it is worth the effort, considering the long-term benefits. If you are a virgin, no matter what is been said, always say to yourself, “I am one in a million of women.
Note: If you question seven guys on whom they will marry, there is a likelihood that you will get at least four response saying; “I would prefer marrying a more chaste girl”.
It’s good to feel the “sweetness” of sex by engaging different people to it
Does the expression “variety is the spice of life” ring a bell to you? Of course, the sweetness of a food delicacy is due to a combination of carefully selected diet constituents in different compositions by an expert-driven preparation. Today, countries of the world have unequivocally outlined the fundamental human rights to their citizens. They have an essential common element, “freedom”. Citizens of the worlds’ recognized nations have over the years been abused by the same entities through “mass-hypnotizing” media outfits depicting and encouraging a sexual misuse of the word “freedom”.
A typical instance is the erotic movies that have become Hollywood’s blockbusters. These movies portray the need for engaging in practically deceptive acts, translated as expressions given in Deception 1. They encourage sexual freedom; a means of sexual gratification by seeking different believed-to-be competent individuals to the act of love making, irrespective of relationship status. The erotic movies watched by viewers had in a way succeeded by blindfolding them; believing without a doubt that sexual freedom improves one’s sexuality and enhances relationships. As a matter of fact, the characters used in these movies are made to paint make-believe situations by drifting towards having illicit affairs with other persons with or without the consent of their spouses and simultaneously maintaining a steady or fidelity-defined relationship with their spouse. Is that really possible? Some will say ‘yes’ while others will say “No”. If you are for the former, then it can be inferred that there is a marriage in front of you and if you are not careful, the aftermath may not be interesting. “How?” A pertinent question! Interestingly, most of these characters in the movies are in their relationship experiencing not-encouraging issues as demise or “breakings”, divorce and estranged situations are realistically associated with their private lives. However, they have successfully spread the deceptive statement. “It’s good to feel the “sweetness” of sex by engaging different people to it” though their acting prowess. Obviously the impact this make-believe act has created in the personal lives of their fans is enormous, despite the conspicuously fabricated storylines.
Another typical instance is the extreme x-rated pornographic movies and magazines. Obscene images, torturing techniques and other dirty acts displayed by porn stars support sexual freedom. The Porn Industry has marketed itself as a respected phenomenon and drawn the interest of many people (races) to believing without a pinch of salt that sexual freedom pays. In various pornographic movies, a particular porn star must have “slept” with different people. To an extent, what has been painted is this: sexual freedom affords us the opportunity to improve our sexuality by having intricate sexual contacts with different people. What porn film makers fail to assert is what porn actors and actresses face in real-life situations, the shame, neglect, low self esteem, drug and addiction, sexual mania situation, infidelity, insecurity, diseases and so on. In the same vein, the actors and actresses of most classic porn movies have influenced immensely the lifestyle of their fans, despite their “unreal moves” most of the stunts performed are choreographed, edited and concerned sex performers are usually on sex enhancing drugs . Unfortunately most of these stars are club girls, drug pushers, strippers, dancers, studs, and high school drop-outs.
The question “Generally, how have they influenced the lifestyle of movie viewers?” comes to focus. The answer is simply shown in relationship approach. Most people engage in relationships to sexually gratify themselves. Simply, they see relationships as means to sexually improving themselves; a practical usage of sexual freedom. What is meant to be a preparing ground for a life-long marriage is now used as a platform to selfishly satisfy sex urge. What do you expect? Honestly, sexual freedom is a mirage that realistically makes people see those they engage in relationships with as sex objects, that is, tools for gratification. In fact, sexual freedom realistically encourages infidelity, insecurity, diseases and so on amongst people who are in relationships and married. Hence, the following statements can be deduced.
- Individuals who had engaged in failed ‘I love-you’ relationship were used as sex objects, tools for sexual gratification.
- A woman of infidelity is like a “semen receptacle” where men can deposit their God-given strength in, away and out of sight.
- An habitual fornicator will unequivocally become an adulterer or adulteress, if there are no genuine and thorough spiritual overhaul
- If proper caution is not exercised, the marriage between those who had engaged in failed ‘I-love-you’ relationship will continue as subsequent illicit affairs outside their matrimony either the man cheating on his wife or vice versa, both parties cheating on each other with or without man or the wife knowing.
Sexual freedom permits people to engage in various forms sexually dastard acts such as lesbianism, bestiality, homosexuality, bi-sexuality, anal sex and so on under the guise of overcoming boredom, anxiety, neglect by organizing money-spraying shows, parties and other social events incorporating these sexual forms thereby providing youngsters a preferred choice to practice. For convenience however, we are considering sexual intercourse. On the contrary, what sexual freedom has failed to recognize is that “sex” in the context of direct physical contact existing between a man and woman is a bond that creates a deep and lasting impression on both parties.
A situation where an individual had engaged in various failed ‘I-love-you’ relationships, how can he or she enjoy a good and steady relationship?
Recently a bosom friend of mine, a Kenyan, had been involved in many failed relationships. In fact, in her words, “I was used like a piece of disposable syringe to heal the prevailing sexual urge by my so-called ex-boy friends”. Really, it all started when she took to being ardent viewers of porn movies. It so influenced her that she went with her friends to parties, clubs and other joints. (At the time, her parents were not living together. Though she lived with her father, she was always at home while her father is a business tycoon that travels round the world).
As she anticipated ,a dashing young man asked her to go on a date with him. She agreed. He eventually became her first love. And as time progressed, they got to know each other better and planned for a future marital bliss. All went to jeopardy as she discovered that her so-called boyfriend has been flirting around with other young ladies and is merely used her as a mere sex object. Although she was heart-broken, her mind was set – to move on with her life. Unfortunately, owing to her naivety, she was tossed around like ‘a paper in the devil’s basket’ in her subsequent relationships.
The “bad” girls get or end up marrying the “good” guys (vice versa).
Apparently, this is becoming an en vogue statement in utterances of many youths today. A question that should come to us is: “what results will the combination of colours white and black give”?
The term’s ‘bad’ as used in ‘bad’ girls and ‘good’ guys as used in ‘good’ guys will have to be looked into ‘bad’ as seen by the society is an a adjective describing certain actions which are not morally acceptable and possess more demerits than merits. On the other hand, the term ‘good’ refers to description of actions which are acceptable by the society and possess more merits than demerits. Therefore, the ‘good’ guys ore those who are morally upright and possess qualities that are encouraging the reverse is the case in the recognition of ‘bad’ girls.
There is a need to digress a bit. Some people say that ‘bad’ girls make good wives than ‘good’ girls; ‘bad’ guys make good husbands than ‘good’ guys. Tell me, how possible is it?
A ‘bad’ guy who had lived an age of fruitless youthful exuberance, a middle age of insecurity and doubt and if particularly not careful, will live an old age of regrets will suddenly make a good husband! ? It takes special grace and sheer determination to turn a new leaf.
We are looking at two deception-defined statements: The ‘bad’ girls get or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys and the ‘good’ girls get or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys”.
The “Bad” Girls Get Or End Up Marrying The “Good” Guys
Sometimes, it is fascinating to juxtapose these statements “like begets like” and “The ‘bad’ girls get or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys”. What a contradiction but they are used to address the same issue. What an irony!
Tell me, can an armed robber agree to go on a mission with a philanthropist? Can a mad man dance naked with a mentally alright man?
Most people end up marrying their type for instance, a club girl will likely end up having intimate relationship or even marrying a club guy.
Tentatively, it is observed that ‘bad’ girls do keep the company of ‘good’ guys, even marry them. Typically, it is like the motorist who observes a water logged express – way that is realistically a free path-way. Yet, people are of this “mirage” view. Only if they can motor a little closer, probably this view could have been realistically approached. How?
The following give the realistically approached observation made to the observed mirage, the statement “The ‘bad’ or end up marrying the ‘good’ guys”. Before the observation can be recognized, we must consider the apparent reasons this statement is fast becoming a household name.
Precisely, what would make ‘bad’ girl, after engaging not only failed relationships, slept with quite a number of men and done other defying acts in the past but also exhibited infidelity involve herself in a relatively steady relationship?. Three major reasons are involved (At this point, I stand to be corrected)
- She is not physically attractive or appealing to her “made clients”, boyfriend, as bed mates owing to the emergence of younger and sexually appealing ladies.
- Age is not on her side: Her biological clock is ticking against her “get involved in a relationship, even if it means pretending!”
- She really wants to have children of her own (on inferred consequence of (2).
The realistically approached observations are:
- The so-called “good” guys were once ‘bad’ but had turned a new leaf. Therefore, they anticipate the so-called ‘bad’ girls to do the same, whether married or not.
- At same point in their lives, perhaps, their growing years, the ‘good’, though wanted to express a level of youth exuberance, were demised such “opportunity”. They did appreciate ladies who were wild and very flamboyant but were given the iron-hand discipline. Hence, the so-called ‘good’ description. Although this is not usually the case realistically, it speaks out a possibility as to the apparently observed statement. In a relationship or marriage, a ‘good’ guy with such a background may be with the so-called ‘bad lady.
- Quite alright, the ‘good’ guy could be indeed very good in thoughts and intentions and end up being in a serious relationship with or even ending up marrying his selected ‘bad’ girls. If she eventually becomes a “bad girl-turned-good”, as the saying goes, you reap what you sow, there is a likelihood that if married, the ‘good’ guy could turn bad, that is, flirting and doing other unpleasant things that defy matrimony. We hear of some cases where husbands who were of good behaviour from the days of their youth suddenly becoming a torn in the flesh of their wives” were once “bad”, they decided to give up such a never-prospective lifestyle! Interestingly the good-turned-bad guys claim love their wives. Then, why the imbalance.
- Some :good” guys who are proudly principled get married to or involve themselves in serious relationships with the so-called ;bad girls are faithful and keen to stand by their once-upon-a time ‘bad’ girls (wives or fiancés) through thick and thin. However, if you believe in the natural law of karma, do you think the ‘evils’ committed by the then “bad” girl won’t replicate themselves in the lives of their growing children? The answer is up to you!
- Like a magnetic force field, “bad” girls, if they persist in their attitude, realistically change the attracted “good” guys to their taste whether married or not just as invitation of members into a group takes place, so is the attitude of the so-called ‘bad’ girls influencing the character of the ‘good’ guys, initiating them not a complete world of ‘bad recognition”
- Can a ‘bad’ girl who had lived a age of goalless youthful exuberance, middle age of doubt and insecurity and if not willing to change will live an old age of regrets suddenly becomes a (good) wife, let alone a caring mother? Next, we move to the second statement.
The “Good” girls end up marrying or getting the “Bad” guys
We seldom hear of hardened gangsters involving themselves in serious relationship or marrying morally responsible ladies. How possible is that? Choice! But a blindfold one! Nonetheless, it does not change the fact that most “bad” guys generally end up marrying or getting the ‘bad’ girls. What about exceptional cases of ‘good’ girls involving themselves in serious relationships with ‘bad’ guys and even marrying them?
The following are the realistically approach facts as to why people choose to believe the assertion “the ‘good’ girls end up getting or marrying the ’bad’ guys”
- Perhaps owing to wrong decision made with respect to marrying a ‘bad’ guy if not deep-rooted in the faith of her upbringing, the ‘good’ girl as time progresses turns to the taste of the ‘bad’ guys. It takes a ‘good’ girl with wits to change a ‘bad’ guy for good.
- Suppose a ‘bad’ guy married a ‘good’ girl who is a virgin, then the view that the ‘good’ girls end up marrying the ‘bad’ guys is apparently correct. Really? What happens if the then ‘bad’ guy who has exercised boundless sexual freedom with various ladies in the past is impotent and this ‘good’ virgin wife needs satisfaction and procreation?
If you suppose these view points, then it is advisable for you to re-think and clearly observe the realities as they affects people (people in your vicinity)