Museit Up Publishing Comments From Writers From the Authonomy Website curiousturtle Frank, I started reading your Opus and thought I would give you my cent and half: The first thing that jumps here is the style. Is a moment by moment perception where every moment is a dangling act promising the next to have the same urgency.... ..... and that you deliver. The jewel of the narrative however is on several fronts: The time and care you take in setting up place. How you carefully use words as utensils so as not only to describe.... .....but to set up atmosphere... The character descriptions shine through their specificity, the use of "he does this...he does that" to paint a character's emotional map is something many writers aspire to, few know how to get it done right..... .....you deliver Finally, there is a dialogue, from time to time it misses a note here and there, but in most instances it moves the plot, arching the narrative Some of my favorites: "like Harleys in heat" "like a thief caught in the headlights" 
is usually "like a deer" "Like squat walrus dreaming....." "Egg Fu Yung" 
I have never seen this which is why I liked it. If wanted to read about things I have already seen, I would take the subway...lol "moon ghosting" "darkened with tint" "Ben closed his eyes....
this characterization in ch 3 is one of your best....wildly idiosyncratic, specifically concrete. Leaving a clear emotional map in the reader's mind Overall, wonderful David Jim Riley Though I haven't been at Authonomy all that long I have learned that one's book can appear on someone's shelf, only to vanish the next day, or soon thereafter, without one ever hearing from the author. But as my work has been on Mr. Talaber's shelf for some time now, I guessed he must mean it. So I've started reading Shaman's Lure. I'm glad I did! This is classic crime action prose. But now I'm growing frustrated. Not quite angry, but getting there. Because I have a lot of authors I owe reads too, but few whose efforts grab me like this does. Why on Earth is it not on more bookshelves?? Popularity at Authonomy is a mystery to me. It's going on my shelf right now, and staying there, at least until I can complete this engaging book with its colorful but dark cast of characters. And most likely it will stay there a good deal longer. Slapped on a bunch of stars for good measure, and anticipate adding more before I'm done! I found this to be an excellent mystery story from the word go. What I do like about the author is the very detailed description that runs throughout it. 
‘Somewhere in English Bay a tugboat honked its horn and seagulls squawked. Mist rose in cold and clammy waves threatening to engulf the city and park, reminiscent of scenes from The Fog.’ 
I could feel that I was there on this cold lonely night with Carol as she tried to make sense of everything at the crime scene.
 ‘Exhaling , she realized a good slow smoke was something a non-smoker could ever understand.’ 
These are good phrases that really open out the book at an early stage.
 Love the old fella who turns up in the dead of night, there’s an automatic mystery here for the reader.
 He talks with some amount of intelligence at times even though he annoys Carol immensely by interfering with her ongoing investigation. But he’s certainly got her attention by his unusual ramblings.
 To me, this is a very good read, well written with a compelling storyline as well. 
I think that this will go far…but I would do…It’s my kind of book—excellent! 
Full stars and will shelve very soon. Neville. One Off, Sir!
 The Secrets of the Forest (Series)-Cosmos 501.
The Secrets of the Forest (Series)-The Time Zone. sensual elle Much of this is topical and reads like Canada's newspaper. I enjoy the story and the verisimilitude. Backed! CMTStibbe Great title, Frank. Awesome pitch. It gives us all the information we need to dive straight in. There is a clear story-arc in the first chapter where we meet Detective Ainsworth reminiscing over a cold October night. With relatively little description of Carol, I like her to begin with. Mayor Cole Bridge is dead and his wife and daughter are missing. But Charlie may have some answers. There's a professionalism to this book, a 'feel' - if I could give it a name - that sets it above other crime novels on Authonomy. You've clearly done your research and you are a natural writer. The tone is darkly gripping and extremely entertaining. Never did I get the sense 'where have I read this before'. So it's unique and cleverly told. I would suggest some descriptive sentences could be shortened to give the narrative a little more punch. And it would certainly elevate the pace. You are a master of description, its poetic and beautiful. Strong characters we want to get to know and Larry, for me, is the most fascinating of these. I like the jumping back and forth between them. It adds a certain awareness of what’s to come. Is this book already available on Amazon and if not, why not? High stars, Frank. I will be back to read more chapters after returning other reads. CMT Stibbe
 The Snare of the Fowler Tom Ericson Frank, 
I have read three chapters and I like it. You can write and you have a good crime thriller here. The short preamble worked for me because it did what I believe prologues should - it gripped me. 

I would end Chapter 1 at "Hang on, old man." It is a great hook and gives a shorter, punchier first chapter, something which I feel works well for a crime thriller. 
The movement back and fore between characters works well. Your writing is very good when you describe Vancouver - I have visited the city and stayed close to Stanley Park. You have nailed this part and I could see myself there - excellent!! 
I have starred highly and will carry on reading - a place on my shelf beckons, I feel.
 Best of luck!
 Tom Ericson
 The Anger Within Software Well composed, with graphic scene and character descriptions coupled with a fast flowing plot. Lots of different themes are explored in the opening chapters which gel together to form a cohesive story. I do like the concept of mixing crime with erotica. It gives the novel an added dimension like in the film, Blue Velvet. Highly starred. Clive Radford
 Doghouse Blues Seringapatam A great crime thriller in which I thought I was right there in the story. I enjoyed the character descriptions as much as I enjoyed the narrative voice of the story. It's an amazing premise and I think your voice suits not only this genre, but also the book. The pace is well suited to it also and I think if you get on this site and push the book it could do so well in the near future. Well done and big stars, 
Sean Connolly. British Army on the Rampage. ( B.A.O.R) KathrynW I read the first chapter, which has strong and vivid descriptive passages. I enjoyed the portray of Carole the most because of the gritty realism - it made me feel as though I was in the classic thriller/detective genre. I liked the fact that the first chapter switches point of view, keeping the reader's interest, and I assume that all the threads interweave throughout the book. Fantasy is not really my genre, preferring to read novels fixed firmly in reality, but for anyone who enjoys a good thriller/ghost story this is for them. Sneaky Long Hey Frank,
 I'm afraid I'm not going to be much help with this comment. You're writing is very colorful and full of description. It is laced with commentary and personal beliefs which I found fascinating. You have achieved a certain level of suspense and anticipation as we get to know more about the characters and how they fit into the story. I am going to put you on my watch list and read more. You're style is unique and your editing is thorough. I could not find anything but minor fault with structure or grammar. Good Luck! Thanks,
 Sneaky Trophy Wives Jenna Freemes I liked this. I lived in Vancouver for a year so this brought me back. I like your descriptions and found the pace to be just what I like. deathcabkid Frank, The first thing I loved about "Shaman's Lure" is the powerful imagery. It's beautifully written and very descriptive. I can picture all of it. Another thing I noticed was the "feel" of the story. It definitely "feels" like a crime novel, which is good. I definitely liked how you began the story and then rewinded time. It makes me anxious to find out what happens between now and then! Your writing is elegant yet it's not pretentious. The alliteration is great, too! I'm looking forward to reading more, and I'll comment as I go along! Ryan Holden
 HOMOCIDAL Andi Brown Hi Frank, This is really good. You do a fantastic job of setting the mood. And of characterization. I think you've really got something here, and I'm giving you a very rare five stars for this. All best,
 Andi 
Animal Cracker Kenneth Edward Lim Frank,
 You've put together a gritty book flavored with primitive urges and mysticism. As I followed Carol's foray into the realm of shamanism, I realized that it took a special touch to pull off a complicated plot the way you did. Your prose was concise and powerfully descriptive, your dialogue lively, and certainly, your photographic mastery of the fixtures and streets in Vancouver's hub, in clear evidence. Thank you so much for a delightful read. Kenneth Edward Lim
 The North Korean 
 

PCreturned 
Hi, I finally managed to get time to look at your book. Sorry it took a few days. :(
I'll comment as I read since I find that the easiest way to keep track. Please don't be offended by any suggestions. After all, they will just be my thoughts. You can always ignore me if you think I'm wrong or stupid. ;)
(Sorry in advance for any typos, but my keyboard’s a bit knackered:()
Chapter 1: Gripping little prelude. I wonder what the hell's going on. I guess I'll just have to read on and find out. ;)
Great description of English bay. The sounds and sights make it real in my mind. Reading on... Oho a murder. The mayor, no less! Now I'm interested. No leads. It sounds like a bit of a mystery what happened. Even more interesting. ;)
1 tiny nitpick here. I think you should be wary of starting sentences with gerunds. eg in "Grabbing her flashlight, she started towards..." it's implied she does both actions simultaneously. I think, in this case, something like "She grabbed her flashlight and started towards..." would be clearer. 
Reading on... Who's the old man? That was unexpected. And where the hell did he come from? V strange...
I've a tiny suggestion here. I'd only use italics for thoughts if you need to offset them from the rest of the text for some reason. The change in font can be visually distracting for the reader. In general, I think it's better to slip thoughts into the text as unobtrusively as possible.
 Reading on... The old man is an oddball, isn't he? But he seems to know something. Interesting. The Red Dwarf reference came out of nowhere. I almost laughed out loud when I read that bit. ;)
Folks? Intriguing section end. I want to read on and see if there really were more murders...
Wow the next scene moves the pace up a notch, doesn't it? I almost feel as if I was just slapped. Looks like we're caught in the middle of a chase. Oh... it was just a vivid dream. Or was it?
 Then a woman breaking free from an abusive relationship. Hmm I wonder if the violent man she's running from could be the killer. Interesting.
 Then we get what seems another dramatic dream. What's going on here? I'll have to read on to find out...
Chapter 2: More on Ben's weird dream. I bet he's wondering if he's even sane by now. 
Then a sleepy Carol trying to get her head together. A mysterious new body. Hmmm could this be linked to the 1st murder? 
Ah now it looks like Ben's and Carol's story's are crossing. What are the odds of a reporter finding a body. I wonder, did he kill her? Was the native from earlier involved?
 Still no daughter to be found in the park. Hmm the Angels' bar is nearby, though. Suspicious. It looks like things are really coming together now. 
By the end of the chapter, I feel sorry for Carol. I think she's exhausted and has v little life. And I suspect things are about to get v dangerous for her soon...
OK I better stop commenting in depth now as this comment is getting huuugggeee. 
I enjoyed what I read. I think you do a great job of building tension with your short sharp sections and mysteries within mysteries. I like the way you keep the reader guessing. I can imagine your audience reading this far too late into the night, driven by desperation to find out what happens next. ;)
I've rated your book v highly, and hope you find an agent/publisher soon. :)
Best of luck,
 I like the way you keep the reader guessing / short, sharp chapters. Pete
I Brian Bandell You have a writing style that works well for a professional thriller. Great sense of setting and dialog and a fast start. I like the Carol character. She's a good protagonist. It's great that you get to the mystery right away. I think it would be good to mention a bit more about Carol's opinion of the mayor early on. Was she a fan of his? Did she not like him? Is it insulting to the police force that they couldn't protect the mayor and his family? You switch from present tense to past tense when you change scenes. That is generally a bad idea and it's rarely done. It's best to stick to one tense unless you have a valid reason to change. For instance, I've seen Lee Child write most of a book in third-person past tense but when he has a scene from the killer's POV he tells it in first-person present tense. This is great work. I'll back it. Brian
 Mute Pat Black A fine detective story; I was most taken by Carol, and I liked the fact that her thought processes are mapped out while she speaks to people. Things are only ever above board through her point of view; her confusion and her attempts to unravel the riddle of what happened to the mayor are ours, and this keeps the tension of the mystery. Of course, your blurb hints at other, more bizarre things coming into the story. Best, P Ivan Amberlake Frank, As I promised I comment on “Shaman’s Lure”. All the more it is a pleasure to comment on a book you like. The pitch starts with a question, which is rare on this site … rare and therefore catching. I love your prologue, with each sentence like an invitation to read more. A woman-detective abusing smoking? Nice. I love the way you present Carol’s thoughts in italics, showing us how she reasons. Here’s an idea that might help you make the book more appealing – a book cover. I mean, the picture is fine, but with a good cover your book will win more readers. Perhaps you should put a picture of a totem-bird alone? That might do the trick. I know “Shaman’s Lure” is in process, so the best of luck with it. Ivan The Beholder mvw888 What I really like is your introduction of Carol. You just plop her right into the story and you're really good at giving us enough characterization to interest us, without stalling the story to tell us. She seemed, from the beginning, to be an actual person. You are great with setting the scene, with giving details--I really felt that you appealed to all the senses in your descriptions of Vancouver. You have a great rhythm to your prose, a good pace for this crime story, just keep working, be judicious about cutting, make sure a detail is needed or cut it. A fantastic start though! Mary
 The Qualities of Wood child [Retired] Shaman's Lure - A well written gritty crime novel. Chapter 1: Opens with a recurring nightmarish dream that shakes journalist, Ben, night after night that is then followed by an apparently disconnected crime scene. CSI and the local police force have carried our preliminary investigations, taped the area off and moved on. Carol, appointed to head the team has stayed behind. Something is niggling her. Many questions remain unanswered, the most pressing of which is, what has happened to the mayor's wife and child? Enter mysterious Charlie Stillwater. Chapter 2: Larry, is introduced, raising many queries in the reader's mind. Is some evil force inhabiting him or is is just an alcoholic who has lost touch with reality? Chapter 3: Murders that have been committed may be no ordinary murders. Malignant entities from the spirit world begin to make their presence known and felt. It would appear, no one is who they seem. 
Summary of three chapters posted: Good descriptive writing that verges on poetry at times. Settings, atmospheric, well crafted. Characters: Realistic, personalities shine through, though I felt the police were a little stereotypical but Charlie Stillwater, in particular, was very well drawn. Dialogue: realistic, Charlie Stillwater's enigmatic conversation with Carol, particularly good.
 There are a lot of good hooks to draw a reader on and the story line, though little clues are scattered in the chapters, will keep a reader guessing. Child Atramentus Speaks Craig Ellis Beautiful and artistic passages make this a joy to read. You've captured the essence of Vancouver, and dropped a hard cop in the middle of it. I notice you change tenses often, going from present to past. You do it at the first scene change, and I wasn't sure it was deliberate. Near the end of the chapter again you go from past tense to present, and this time it's in the middle of a scene. It's a bit of a distraction. Great read! Many stars! Craig Ellis
 The Sun and the Saber "/> Shaman’s Lure